The Sin Within

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Often, throughout the day, it's often easy for me to see sin that I've committed. Confessing is just a matter of agreeing with God that it is sin, and turning away from desiring it; replacing it with desiring what God desires.

Submission of the heart.
Putting my own sinful desires to death.
Allowing the Holy Spirit to fill me and replace my desires with His own.

Sometimes it's not so easy.

Sometimes, on my knees, I feel filthy, yet no matter how I try I cannot find a blatant sin that I've committed.

I just know that my heart has a tremendously long way to go before I feel free from sin.

One was brought to my mind this week.
I cannot escape it no matter how much I might desire to.

Yeshua was asked what was the greatest commandment.

He replied, "To love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength." (paraphrased)

At no moment in my existence have I done this; every energy I have, put toward all-consuming love for my Lord, no thought for anything else. I could never love Him as He deserves to be loved. Even when I try, I am keenly aware of my lack of ability to do so.

I fail Him at every moment, even in the first and greatest commandment.

Yet He loves me more than I deserve to be loved.

~Faith

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The Most Difficult Thing

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The most difficult thing you will ever have to do as a follower of Christ is

to believe that God loves you as much as He says He does.

(Paul Washer)


And whether we believe a fact or not is evidenced by how we respond to it.

~Faith

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He Is A Rewarder

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How do we know when we are trusting God?

Am I ever really fully trusting Him?

Likely not. I'd venture to say that every time we think we are, we'll find out eventually we were not.

I think Enoch did. Enoch intrigues me. Not much is said about him.

Here's what I know. I have spent much time in my life not trusting Him, even when I thought I was.

I also know that every time something takes place in my life that is a trial, the Lord has proven Himself to be a generous protector. It's almost to the point where I wonder what amazing things will take place after a given trial. It's almost to the point where I can laugh when those who would harm me carry out their plans - because invariably, the Lord makes it all work to good.

He amazes me.

Without faith it is impossible to please God. We must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who seek Him.

It's been a long time since I questioned Him, asking why. I know why.

Because He loves me and will do what is best for me.

I really don't need to know much more than that about my circumstances.

The book of Job tells me that. Job, who so obediently refused to blame God or turn from God outwardly, but in his tortured existence cursed the day He was born, not understanding what God was allowing to happen to him.

Our heart pours out to Job. But God took him to task. "Who are you?" He questions of Job.

You knew so little, Job.
I know so little, Faith.

It wasn't enough that Job believed in God, or that He even submitted to Him. But Job faltered in believing that God had what was best for Job. He questioned God's faithfulness in doing what was best for him.

My father does not want me doubting His love and faithfulness; doubting His character. Doubting what He says about Himself.

~Faith

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First Corinthians 13, Christmas version

“YOU CAN GIVE WITHOUT LOVING, BUT YOU CANNOT LOVE WITHOUT GIVING”

If I decorate my house perfectly with plaid bows, strands of twinkling lights and shiny balls, but do not show love to my family, I’m just another decorator.

If I slave away in the kitchen, baking dozens of Christmas cookies, preparing gourmet meals and arranging a beautifully adorned table at mealtime, but do not show love to my family, I’m just another cook.

If I work at the soup kitchen, carol in the nursing home and give all that I have to charity, but do not show love to my family, it profits me nothing.

If I trim the spruce with shimmering angels and crocheted snowflakes, attend myriad holiday parties and sing in the choir’s cantata, but do not focus on Christ, I have missed the point.

Love stops the cooking to hug the child.

Love sets aside the decorating to kiss the husband.

Love is kind, though harried and tired.

Love doesn’t envy another’s home that has coordinated Christmas china and table linens.

Love doesn’t yell at the kids to get out of the way, but is thankful they are there to be in the way.

Love doesn’t give only to those who are able to give in return, but rejoices in giving to those who can’t.

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things.

Love never fails.

Video games will break, pearl necklaces will be lost, golf clubs will rust…

But, giving the gift of love will endure.

Author unknown

Dreaming of God

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Often I have desired to spend my sleeping hours dreaming of God.

So many dreams, so much time, seems almost a waste to spend them on trivialities.

The answer is almost always no, and I can see why.

If I could go to sleep and dream of God, I'd never want to be awake to serve.


But last night I dreamed of God.

I do not remember anything else except that there was a ribbon of fire all around me, swirling and dancing. It seemed I was on the edge of a cliff, but I had no fear. The fire had not beginning nor end, but was all around, darting here and there.

And I knew others were afraid, but I was not. I ran and I leaped off the edge of the cliff, into the fire, knowing it would catch me.

It did. I snuggled down into it and it wrapped around me like a warm and safe blanket.

And it carried me as it danced.

And I closed my eyes and let it.


My God is a consuming fire.

~Faith

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For My Son

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I don't have a slacker young man for a son. I am very proud of my son and the choices he makes for his life. But without a Godly father in his life, I am grateful for the Godly men who speak out with not only their words, but their actions. Here is Paul Washer and an exhortation for the young men of today.



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Not Enough

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When we are babies, we are utterly selfish. All our thoughts are for our own comfort.

We come to an awareness that there is someone big, someone who provides for us, someone who loves us.

We desire that person. We want our needs met.

As we become young children, we begin to love in return.

Our selfish inclinations still cause us our thoughts to revolve around ourselves.

We see what we can get away with, staying within the safety boundaries of our parents.

Some of us don't. Some rebel completely.

As older children and immature adults we begin to recognise our foolishness and the sorrow it leads to.

We begin to try to grow up. We begin to seek wisdom.

How can I be a better person, do the right thing, earn more priviledges, get more freedoms by being more responsible?

On the outside we grow up, yet our behavior is still largely selfish. It is "me" centered.

How will doing this right go better for me?

For many it remains this way.

But for some, they take a step...

They begin to seek knowing what it is like to be more than a child, but be a friend.

They desire to know the person who has cared for them all these years.

We forgive their imperfections, rather than condemning.

We return love, rather than taking for ourselves only.



Our perfect Heavenly Father also gives us new life.

We begin selfishly.

We want our needs met; safety, love, emptiness filled.

We recognize our immaturity by God's standards and move into seeking better lives through obedience.

We read books on how to be a better Christian, how to be fiscally responsible believers, how to be Godly parents, how to be a better spouse, how to serve in the church, how to pray, how to be humble, how to study the Bible, how to, how to, how to....

And that is where most of us stay. Or get tired. Or turn away.

But if we pay enough attention to what God is saying to us, we realize that there is more to our relationship than "How To".

"Who are You, Father? What do You love? What pleases You? How can I bless You? I want to show You my love right at this moment. I want to make you smile. I want to be Your friend as well as being Your child.

Show me who You are.

Reveal Yourself to Me!

I can't live without knowing more of Your beauty every passing day!

I want to know You!

I want to be one who gives You what You love.



.... it changes me...

Because my ways are not His ways.

The more I know Him, the more I love Him, and the less I love my ways... and lose interest in them.

I don't need many "How-To" books, it is plain to me through the pain I feel from sorrowing Him.

There is so little time in the day. So much of Him to know.



Pages flipping back and forth. Searching. What can I know about You here?

How did you respond to this? What did You think about this?

What pattern were you laying out for me to see?

What did you want to me get, buried here in this seemingly insignificant detail?

What did that word mean originally?

Open my eyes.

More, more, more.

Not enough time.

I have to sleep ~ how I wish I could dream of You.

I have to eat, I have to work.

Your Word must come with me.

I can read it, I can listen to it.

How can I draw near You during those times as well?

Open my eyes to the needs of others. Love them through me.

I am greatly lacking.



Use me to do Your will.

Give me songs of love to sing to You.

More, more, more.

I hunger and thirst for You.

More, more, more.

This pain, what do You want me to learn from it?

I never thought I could say thank You for the trials.

Sometimes I tremble asking You to teach me, knowing for what I am asking...

...but more.

Because I know.

I know You love me.

I am not Home... until I am with You.



..."Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart..."



I have the greatest treasure.

Him.


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